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How Many Years (Have I Carried the Flame​)​?

by Jake McNeillie

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1.
I felt like I fell into a dark and beautiful dream My voice cracked The night we hugged each other And you were in tears I could feel your quivering breast Your sweet, wet, face pressed against my chest And I felt the desolation of your life In, this, your darkest hour Run through my very soul It seemed we were alone Amongst the piercing, twinkling, white, stars That would die out in time In the obsidian, midnight, bleak winter, sky While in your hugging embrace You caressed my back, adoringly, rhythmically, smoothly, and sensually, with your soft, slender, supple, fingers This was unexpected How loving, sensual, and personal you were Your heavenly loins pressed comforting and warm, in endearment, against mine You spoke softly, sweetly, girlishly, and adoringly into my chest My heart went soft, in warmth, like honey, at hearing your voice Speaking as if we were already lovers As I could feel your warm breath The smell of the sweet, womanly, fragrance of your soft, thin, long, dark brown, hair And all I could think is this is the best hug I have ever had in my entire life I never want to forget this moment with you So dark and exquisite I hope I comforted you, like a blanket, in the warmth of my empathy and tenderness The gloomy essence of your life and this exquisite moment echoed, so much In my mind, that I could hardly sleep this night To preserve the ecstasy of the endearing, loving, sensual, heavenly, heightened feeling of this moment I wrote this song…
2.
Wasted and wounded Whenever I see your face I ache to forget But you are in my dreams dear The night you cried in my arms I thought you were my destiny You scattered my ashes Into the barren sea How many years have I carried the flame? What was the plan for me? To be alone in all my strife? I desire to hold you in my arms I know you believe in god But this is the truth dear I didn’t believe Till I knew you How could there not be When I see an angel in front of me? Your wings cut off By the bleak world How many years have I carried the flame? What was the plan for me? To be alone in all this stark I yearn to kiss you in your bed Please God be good to me May we forever be in love Please send a cupid From heaven above As the stars die out May we shine our light From the darkness Of what we used to be How many years have I carried the flame? What was the plan for me? To be alone in my own hell I burn to be within your thighs I pine for you to hold me in your heart I long for you to hold me in your arms

credits

released April 18, 2023

Spoken word and song written, produced, and performed by Jake McNeillie
Engineered and mixed by Beau Eastlund at The Golden Lab Studio Springfield, OR
Mastered by Thaddeus Moore at Liquid Mastering Eugene, OR

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Jake McNeillie Eugene, Oregon

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